STUMP » Articles » How Not To Look Like a Total, Desperate Ass, Part 2 » 21 October 2014, 14:33

Don’t do this:

Welcome to the final two weeks #TXGOV pic.twitter.com/PPjt0sWcWH

— Aaron Blake (@AaronBlakeWP) October 20, 2014

What the literal fuck.

When I saw this yesterday, I thought that might be faked. First, the headline?

That’s a real headline.

Okay, so the Texas Observer did that. But did Wendy Davis really try to use it?

Oh yes, she did.

Here's what's at stake in this election. Vote today. #MyTexasVotes pic.twitter.com/PQ1bT0sijC

— Wendy Davis (@WendyDavisTexas) October 20, 2014

In his mySA</a> ed board interview, <a href="https://twitter.com/GregAbbott_TX">GregAbbott_TX refused to say whether he'd defend an interracial marriage ban. pic.twitter.com/kdIX3HkAw5

— Wendy Davis (@WendyDavisTexas) October 20, 2014

Candidates face tough questions in this election. Whether or not we should defend an interracial marriage ban isn't one of them.

— Wendy Davis (@WendyDavisTexas) October 21, 2014

As Governor, I'll fight for all Texans. Greg Abbott won't say whether he'd defend an interracial marriage ban. #NotMyTexas

— Wendy Davis (@WendyDavisTexas) October 21, 2014

Now, many people have been pointing out that Greg Abbott is married to a Mexican-American woman, and we could argue about whether “Hispanic” is a race (it’s not), a well-defined ethnicity (it’s not that either), but look.

A guy who married someone from at least a different ethnicity is not exactly the most credible target to cry BIGOT!!! and let slip the dogs of political war.

(and I don’t want to get started about the dildos)

You know, someone should start asking candidates absurd hypotheticals, like ‘Would you defend jus primae noctis if it were the law of the land?’ and ‘Would you consider stopping beating your wife?’

My guess is Wendy Davis just doesn’t care about looking completely ridiculous. If you’re gonna lose, then lose big, I say.

I wonder how she’s going to top herself. I thought the wheelchair ad was pretty bad. This is even worse.

UPDATE — NOT WENDY DAVIS: But even worse than anything above. This is sick.